Qualifying for the 2026 Tournament of Team Names is complete!
Here are the final seedings, Round 1 is coming soon!
THE TOPICAL REGION:
| 1 | Hot Take: We Should Call the Island “Kid Rock” |
| 2 | Panic! In the Bathroom |
| 3 |
We Were Gonna ChatGPT a Name, but We Felt Bad About Using That Much Water
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| 4 | Hot Take: Trump University was the Only One with a Major in Minors |
| 5 | A Song of Files and I.C.E. |
| 6 | Thanks for the Bronze, but I Cheated |
| 7 | The Righteous Gallstones |
| 8 | Chappell R-Oh My God |
| 9 | Epstein’s Oiled Up Butler |
| 10 | Olympic 12 Oz Curling Team |
| 11 | Your Terrible Mother Won an Oscar for Best Terrible Mother |
| 12 | Fish Fillet Season |
| 13 | Gilf Street |
| 14 | The Only 3 People Not on the Epstein List |
| 15 | Swiping was Involved |
| 16 | Welcome to the 4th Winter |
THE CLEVER REGION:
| 1 | Lady Gaga’s Lesser Known Counterpart, Lord Goo Goo | ||
| 2 | In Soviet Jeopardy, You Give Answer. | ||
| 3 | Oops I Did it Again.. And This Time It’s a Felony | ||
| 4 | Vincent Van Go F Yourself | ||
| 5 | Every Day is Fat Tuesday When You’re Fat | ||
| 6 | Call Me ROY G BIV Because I’m Visibly on the Spectrum | ||
| 7 | Pre-Marital Eye Contact | ||
| 8 | If I Eat Myself, Do I Double in Size or Disappear? | ||
| 9 | Arson? You Mean Creme Brulee? | ||
| 10 |
Monsters Vs. Aliens Vs. Brown Vs. The Board of Education
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| 11 | How Do You Introduce a Burger? Meet Patty. | ||
| 12 | Testicular Answer | ||
| 13 | Intensive Care Bears | ||
| 14 | Honey I Escaped the Kids | ||
| 15 | Squirtle Squad | ||
| 16 | Beers for Fears | ||
THE “THAT’S JUST FUNNY” REGION:
| 1 | Kristy Can’t Do Meth (Anymore) | ||
| 2 | What a Rack! Ope, That’s a Guy | ||
| 3 | Moist Chuckle of Chainsaws | ||
| 4 | Running with Slushies | ||
| 5 | I Am Very Glad, As I Am Finally Eating Corn Dogs | ||
| 6 | I Bet Those Golden Tickets Made the Chocolate Taste Terrible | ||
| 7 | Batman! Nipple! Chest! Plate! | ||
| 8 | Innocent Until Proven Whiskey | ||
| 9 | Galen’s Dad, or “Mister Furry” if You’re Nasty | ||
| 10 | 311 Was An Inside Job | ||
| 11 | Banana Bread At Work, Dude? | ||
| 12 | Flashin’ Some Ankle | ||
| 13 | You Inject Acid Where? | ||
| 14 | Body Positivity Tuesday | ||
| 15 | We Have a Librarian | ||
| 16 | Papa Funyon | ||
THE SEXUAL INNUENDO REGION:
| 1 | We Took Gold in Curling… Your Mom’s Toes | ||
| 2 | Going Donkey Kong on My Honkey Dong | ||
| 3 | We Came On the Bus But We Made It Look Like a Sneeze | ||
| 4 | Taint of the Union | ||
| 5 | The KY Jelly Donuts | ||
| 6 | Branch Chlamydians | ||
| 7 | Finger My Stones Like Team Canada | ||
| 8 | Pre-Sex Tacos | ||
| 9 | Lunch Titties | ||
| 10 | Cherry Poppin’ George Washington | ||
| 11 | Dick Trickle and the Rusty Kuntz | ||
| 12 |
It’s a Dog Eat Dog World and I’m Wearing Milkbone Underwear
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| 13 | I Have Pepperoni Nipples | ||
| 14 | Beef Strokin’ Off | ||
| 15 | Executive Producer Dick Wolf | ||
| 16 | We’re Not Gay, But $20 is $20 | ||
Each round will be voted on by YOU, with the ultimate winner taking home $100 and getting their name on our All-Time Winners List!
ALL-TIME WINNERS:
2017: DRINK MILK CUZ OJ WILL KILL YOU
2018: ENDLESS LOVE: THE HELEN KELLER/STEVIE WONDER TENNIS MATCH
2019: AUTOCORRECT IS OUR WORST ENEMA
2020: BI-CURIOUS GEORGE
2021: *POSTPONED DUE TO COVID*
2022: I LOST MY MOOD RING AND I DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT
2023: TWERKING FROM HOME
2024: THE THIN LINE BETWEEN FORGIVE ME FATHER AND SORRY DADDY
2025: WE HIT PAT BENETAR WITH OUR BEST SHOT AND NOW SHE’S PRESSING CHARGES
